Get On The Bus

Constant Readers,

I haven't done much coverage of Presidential politics. Mostly because it seems like for the last 2 years, every time a candidate has a hair out of place, media outlets scrutinize it like there's nothing else going on in the world. Is the hair trying to say something to us? Does it disagree with the other strands? See how it is leaning toward the left - might that signify a shift in the candidate's Iraq policy?

Ugh. Enough already.

Media saturation aside, I'll admit to being intrigued by the announcement that McCain would be in town for a fundraiser. Since I was $9,984.13 short of the price of admission, I decided to go and check out Monday's protest.

I arrived at around 5:45 and already the anti-McCain contingent had swallowed up both the sidewalk in front of the Fairmont and the opposite side of the street. "Aren't you supposed to be on the other side?" asked one McCain supporter of some anti-McCain folks next to me.  As if this were a homecoming football game and we were with the other team. It's a protest, man! There ain't no rules!

I ran into Supervisors Chris Daly and Aaron Peskin who were both there dutifully holding anti-McCain signs. Daly stopped long enough for me to get this pic of he and Frank Chu. There appeared to be about 60-80 anti-McCain people there, not counting the curious Norwegian tourists who were just happy to shout for Obama.

Observation #1: Anti-McCain people need better chants. For reals. "McCain No Change!" and "McCain McCan't!" are wholly uninspiring. The lack of public participation in these chants was severe and repeatedly left the person holding the microphone chanting alone like a karaoke contestant.

Observation #2: The three best signs were:
1. Octogenarians for Obama
2. Act Your Age - Retire
3. Asians for McCain (mostly because it was held by a big white dude)

Observation #3: Speaking of Asians for McCain - it looked like almost all the pro-McCain people were Asian. I have no idea what to make of this.

Observation #4: Everyone I spoke to was really nice to me. But here's a tip, people:  I'm not exactly a journalist. I'm not there to report on how everything sucks and were sick of it...(yawn). If you want me to write about you, tell me something I don't know, hold a funny sign, buy me something or invite me onto your Bush-is-a-douchebag-mobile.

Observation #5: I totally got invited to ride in the Bush-is-a-douchebag-mobile! It's like the batmobile, 'cept it's a bus with a ginormous picture of George Bush on the side with the words "The Bush Legacy." The interior is tricked out with all manner of painful reminders of what happens when we elect a friendly frat boy to lead the free world.

Thing is, there aren't any handles/straps/appropriate shit to hold on to in there. It was meant to be toured whilst parked, but we couldn't stop in front of the hotel. So there we were, circling the block in this whale of a middle-finger on wheels while I tried to hold a conversation with Julie Blust of Americans United for Change.

"So, how many buses do you have?, " I asked while grabbing the display box containing the boots of slain Iraqi soldier Patrick McCaffrey, whose true cause of death was covered up by the Pentagon for at least a year.

"Just this one."

"And," as I stumbled to the back and had to hug the Bush and Cheney Oil mock gas pump, "do you live on this thing or what?"

"No," she laughed. "We stay in hotels."

As I made my way to the environmental section, which - like some apocalyptic advent calendar - consists of a series of small doors that open to reveal sad facts, I held on to one of the little doorknobs and asked, "How's the response been?"

"Totally amazing! Overwhelming!," she said. "There's also a display where you can call in and listen to people's horror stories with the health care system."

Yeesh. No thanks. If I need a depressing phone call, I'll just dial my ex. It was time to depart the bus. I stepped off looking all dizzy and disheveled like a cat fresh from the microwave. Once I was on the sidewalk, I ran into my old pal Joe Vasquez from KPIX. We chatted. We did celebrity impressions. He introduced me to Patrick the camera man and Doug Sovern from KCBS.

I was having fun, but it was time to go.  As I walked  away, I turned around to take in the scene. There weren't enough protesters to signify that anyone thinks McCain is a real threat to Obama in this neck of the woods. (I've seen bigger crowds protesting Light Brown Apple Moth spraying.) Yet there were enough people to remind the partygoers that this is still the Republic of San Francisco. And McCain wasn't gonna get a free ride.

--Melissa

PS - Special thanks to Jen Longley and Rocky Fernandez.

Comments

[mschool]

Frank Chu holding a sign that is readable English? This is truly a first for San Francisco. Looks like there was fine print underneath his equation. Did that happen to read 1001,99999,000 Galaxies?

[vansmack]

I am shocked and appalled at the treatment levied on you by the Fairmont Hotel. Their most reliable client should have been comped an entrance to this event.

[clemens]

awesome writing, as always...

[Mousqueton]

@ Melissa:

I hope no one took a picture of you in the "Legacy" bus. That is something that could come back an haunt you later in life.

[Be_Devine]

"I stepped off looking all dizzy and disheveled like a cat fresh from the microwave."

(1) Brilliant.
(2) Bullshit. You couldn't look disheveled if you tried.