I'm on my way to Alabama right now to visit my family and, in fact, am in the Dallas Airport on a layover. As a former bartender myself (law school ain't free, people!) I'm always nice to the mixologist.
Right now, I'm being served by Chuck, who is hotter than his name implies, but not a 10, either. Apparently, I'm the only one brave enough to eat at the Irish Pub in Dallas so we're chatting. Here's the actual conversation we just had:
Me: Do you know much about San Francisco?
Chuck: Just that it's supposed to be pretty there. And gay. Pretty gay, hahah! (Cracking himself up.)
Me (theatrically unamused): You got a problem with gay people?
Chuck (sensing a tip is in the balance): No...it's just...that I heard there are lots of them in San Francisco.
Me: What if there are lots of them everywhere?
Chuck: Uh-oh. (Pretends to look under the bar.)
Me: Do you know anything about politics there?
Chuck: Y'all have the Latin guy, right?
Me: Latin? (Who says that?) I think you confusing us with Los Angeles. They are the pretty ones and we are the smart ones. Gavin Newsom is our Mayor.
Chuck: Ohhhhhh the one with Chazz hair. Didn't he have sex with someone he wasn't supposed to...
Me: Haven't we all? And yes, he did. But what is Chazz hair?! (I hate myself for being so giddy at this point.)
Chuck: Eighties....movie... jerk. More wine?
Me: Hells yeah. He's running for governor, you know. He tweeted his announcement the other day. You know, on Twitter.
Chuck: (Stops putting glassed in the dishwasher.) Man, that is so gay.
For me: drinking + running = hilarious, crippling disaster. So, I'm not a big B2B participant. However, folks in this town love the Bay to Breakers, which is why I tuned in to watch yesterday's public hearing on the subject.
Here is a short video I edited together because I was amused
by the fact that the agenda might as well have read: (1) naked people,
(2) pissing in public. We are, apparently, a city of mannerless, drunken douchebags. A fact that needs to be handled by discussing port-o-potties at length.
The first part of the vid is from public comment. Were there perfectly cogent arguments made for and against various proposed B2B rules? Yes. Did I include them? No. Is my sense of what's funny/gross/interesting the same as that of a seventh grade boy? Pretty much. If you want to watch the whole 2 hour hearing, you can go here.
The second half of the video is a series of excerpts from the policy discussion that took place after public comment. Guess what subject seemed to dominate? You have to give Supervisor Mirkarimi credit here - he is certainly taking the time to get into the dirty details of the event.
Ultimately, there did not appear to be any changes as a result of the meeting. The sponsors had already agreed to add 200 port-a-potties to the number last year; they had also added some number of trash cans and a place to dispose of one's float.
And these rules still stand: floats have to enter at the beginning of the parade route and no kegs or bottles allowed.
My dear friends Mr. and Mrs. V. just welcomed a new baby girl into the world on Sunday! Yay! I love y'all!
Speaking of pregnant women, what better day than this holiday to tell them they can drink! Look for a new kind of "ladies night" to appear soon.
Because it's a holiday, I'll give you some good news here: President Obama has announced that the United States delegation to the United Nations will sign a declaration calling for the worldwide decriminalization of homosexuality.
George W. Bush's administration had refused to sign the declaration last year, putting us in such illustrious company as the 86 countries that criminalize homosexuality. In seven of those nations, the punishment is death. (In case you needed another reason to cross Saudi Arabia, Iran, Yemen, Sudan, Mauritania and parts of Nigeria and Pakistan off your "places to visit" list.)
This move isn't really surprising given the fact that the U.S. delegation to a human rights conference in February proposed a provision in a different declaration that would condemn "all forms of discrimination and all other human rights violations based on sexual orientation."
The declaration at the United Nations isn't binding, but even this symbolic gesture is important for a body like the UN that has has been historically skittish about issues related to the conditions gay people have to endure worldwide.
Oh, Obama! We forgive you for not preventing those AIG bonuses...
President Barack Obama’s announcement Monday about easing federal
restrictions on embryonic stem cell research was met with cheers and
even a heartfelt thank-you from Nancy Reagan. People wasted no time
pointing out that San Francisco, home of the California Institute for
Regenerative Medicine, stands to gain from the influx of federal funds
and nerds.
But before we start dressing as our favorite embryonic stem cell to run in Bay to Breakers, I want to point out three things:
First, don’t expect any money to come right away. The Health and
Human Services Agency still has to write up new regulations for the use
of stem cells. Also, federal funding for research is highly regulated
and getting it takes months and a mountain of paperwork.
Second, federal funding may have a negative effect on other
contributions to stem cell research. The reason CIRM was created and
funded in the first place was because Bush refused federal funding for
the same research in 2001. If people think the federal government will
now foot the bill, they might withhold private donations, and our state
government (the same one raiding the coffers of mental health funds)
may try to wiggle out of its obligations to fund CIRM.
Third, at least one consumer group is already calling for a revision
of the Bayh-Dole Act. Passed in 1980, it allows nonprofits,
universities and small businesses to own the title to any invention
they develop with federal research funds, though the U.S. retains the
right to intervene in “exceptional circumstances.”
Critics say this law makes the taxpayer pay twice — first for the
research (with no direct return on the investment), then for the drugs
created by the research. Given the current financial crisis, we can
expect to see a fight on whether and how to amend the Bayh-Dole Act to
give some money back to us investors.
Apologies for the delay - putting together a new website is no joke, y'all. And anyway, news has been pretty slow recently. So, imagine my excitement at seeing that the Department of Justice released nine legal memos related to civil rights and the war on terror!
1) Neither Shock Nor Awe - My CRs know I'm a stickler for reading the original documents, so I went to the DOJ website to check them out for myself. Okay, so here's what I found: likeIsaid, nine memos were released. Well, two of those memos repeal or limit the application of six of the other memos. (Although the Bush DOJ waited until way late in the game to issue the two
"clarifications" that retire the prior legal opinions - they are dated October 2008 and January 2009.) So, to recap: of the nine released documents, two say "Dude, do not rely on that crappy old advice." And six contain that crappy old advice.
And the ninth memo? It says Jose Padilla is an enemy combatant who can be detained as such - U.S. citizenship notwithstanding. In doing so, it relies on two of the memos that were released and later negated.
Aw, man.
I don't mean to sound ungrateful - no doubt releasing these are better than nothing, but since the administration has said they will be releasing more documents in the future, here's hoping we get so see some really dicey ones!
2) News About the News:We have all read about the troubles facing the Chronicle, and I've been enthralled by people's opinions on the causes and the cures. These are mostly found in comments sections on places like SFist and Bronstein's blog. One thing that folks seem to agree on is that the structure and operations of traditional newspapers in unsustainable. What to do? Last Friday, the Hearst Corp. (which owns the Chronicle) announced plans to roll out a device (like a Kindle) that people can use to read Hearst content for a fee. (Amount unknown at this time.)
Will it work? While people might be open to paying some amount annually for access to the Chronicle and other Hearst publications, I'm not so sure we'll want to buy a special device to do it. Especially if that device is larger than a Kindle - the Hearst reader is will supposedly be 8.5 in. x 11 in. - the size of a regular page.
But hey, it's something new and innovative, and San Franciscans love that.
3) Milk Toast: Ever since Sean Penn won an Oscar for portraying Harvey Milk in the movie "Milk", everyone is getting in on the action.
Penn is in town today to push for a state recognition of Harvey Milk Day. And Equality California just released a new pro-gay marriage spot that features Monsieur Milk. It's pretty good, too. Check it out:
Well, the verdict is in on Bobby Jindal's "rebuttal" last night. As one commenter on MSNBC's Hardball put it: "A star was not born."
Even Republicans are bashing him. The only Republican I can think of who isn't disappointed by Jindal is Sarah Palin. I can picture her curled up in her baby wolfhair blanket laughing her ass off as she watched a dude touted as a future leader of the Republican party give a speech that looked like a high school civics project. I'm sure she got up and hummed a happy tune as she dusted the "Palin in 2012" sign that teeters atop the stuffed moosehead in her bathroom.
I mean, the man talked about the (Hello! Republican!) government response to hurricane Katrina several times! That's like Tonya Harding talking about cutting federal spending off at the knees.
Speaking of MSNBC's Hardball...
Gavin Newsom was on the show last night talking about Obama's speech and the stimulus package. And while we don't always see eye-to-eye, I'll admit he did a damn good job. I was reminded that, while he's a moderate in SF, he's a homo-loving Commie in the eyes of the rest of the nation, so it's a good thing he is adept at articulating why what's going on in SF (health care, green stuff - clunky as it all is) makes sense.
And speaking of how others see us...
You may have read about a recent Newsweek article bashing Californians and calling the Bay Area "ground zero for California narcissism and arguably the most attractive
urban expanse on the continent; Neil Morgan in 1960 described San Francisco
as 'the narcissus of the West,' a place whose fundamental asset was
first its own beauty, followed by its own culture of self-regard."
I read it, and I had to laugh. Let's face it: we do believe we're awesome. But it doesn't mean we take ourselves so seriously. I still love the South Park episode the depicts San Franciscans as smug liberals who stand around smelling our own farts. Mostly, though, I wish the writer would get a thesaurus. I counted the words "narcissim" or "narcissistic" 8 times. Frankly, we conceited Californians deserve better. Heheh.
I've been busily typing away for tomorrow's Examiner, so forgive me for today's rather short post.
So, this morning I was doing what I usually do: find an excuse not to go to the gym, then check headlines. Some days are more interesting than others, but some of this morning's stories were especially kooky. Here are a few: 1. Rich People Act Like Douchebags. Someone actually studied this. According to these brilliant urban anthropologists, you can actually tell who is rich by how shittily they treat you. Wow! Apparently, I know lots of people who are secretly wealthy.
2.Barbie Makers Want Us To Feel Ugly AND Stupid.The Impossible Standards Department of Mattel Inc., unveiled a new Barbie at a toy fair in Nuremburg: German Chancellor Angela Merkel Barbie. Now Dubya can rub her shoulders all he wants.
3.The Mayor of Vegas Is Easily Offended. So, now that Obama criticized Wells Fargo's plans to send a bunch of employees to Vegas to the tune of $25 million that it does not have, the Mayor of Vegas is all hurt. He wrote to Obama saying so. I imagine it'll go right into the People-Who-Think-Companies-Should-Piss-Away-Taxpayer-Money-In-Vegas file. Which I'm pretty sure is thin.
I had never been to the annual Martin Luther King, Jr. breakfast before but I'll be finagling tickets from now on.
Miss P. had invited me to the MLK breakfast put on by the MLK Civic Committee and sponsored by labor, Comcast, and Citi (no more "bank" on that name, apparently) by saying, "Everyone who's not going to the inauguration will be there." Hey, good enough for me. State Senator Mark Leno; Assemblyman Tom Ammiano; Supervisors John Avalos, David Chiu, Bevan Dufty and Ross Mirkarimi; Assessor Phil Ting (hilariously introduced as "the tax man"); Board of Education members Kim-shree Maufas and Sandra Fewer; and Community College Board member Steve Ngo, just to name a few.
I hadn't planned to write about the event, but was moved to by the sheer marvelousness of it all. I mean, it's so incredible that Obama is about to be sworn in on the day after MLK's birthday! I know I wasn't the only one who got a little choked up at various times throughout the morning. And unbridled happiness plus children is bound to have some interesting results. Here are some fun things that happened today:
The morning was kicked off by Marcellus Prentice who recited (almost) the entire "I Have A Dream" speech without notes. It was very impressive (it's actually a pretty long speech, y'all). When he got to the "I have a dream" part at the end, he fumbled a bit and in a room full of pastors and such, started cursing. "Damn! Oh, I'm sorry...shit! I lost my place!" Heheh. We all gave him a standing ovation anyway...
Speaking of standing - there was a lot of it. We stood to listen to the national anthem, we stood after the presentation of each award, and even had to stand and hug our neighbors like it was church on Sunday. (Surprisingly un-awkward.) I'm not complaining, though, the program went for three hours so each stretch was welcome.
Assemblyman Ammiano spoke and started right in, basically saying, "A lot of people have been asking me where I'm gonna live in Sacramento. Well the Governor helped me find a place with a nice Mormon family." Then, discussing the potential statewide cuts to social services this year said "There are two 'girlie men' up there [in Sacramento] now - the Senator [openly gay Mark Leno] and Assemblymember [gayer than gay Ammiano] and we are not going to let this happen!"
The folks who planned the day did two things that should be mandatory at all events: (1) Live music - preferably performed by a high-schooler with amazing talent, like Ranzel Merritt Jr. (pictured - sorry about the crappy bb camera quality) who played a song on his saxophone; and (2) whenever possible, recognize people's Mamas. Any person who was introduced (and I'm not talking about kids, I'm talking about Commissioners and such) and whose mother was present - that mother also got to stand up and be applauded. I counted at least three. Hells yeah!
Winners of a citywide MLK essay contest got to go up and read their essays. Jackie Bell, the winner from K-2 didn't even use notes and delivered a fiery speech like a pint-sized pastor. The crowd (myself included) went nuts!
Jocelyn Iglehart, the elementary school winner, wrote an essay that included what may be the best line of the day: "On November 4, 2008 a nation that is black and brown and yellow and white and tan elected a man who is black and brown and yellow and white and tan."
The middle school winner, Aukayla Boone, recited her essay which was peppered with awesome statements like "Obama should give America more money", "a lot of our money goes to the government and people with bad weather" and "[Obama will help schools set up] a program for slow kids."
The President of the MLK Civic Committee, Millard Larkin II, spoke and at one point declared that there were no black people at the upper echelons of education in San Francisco. Kim-shree Maufas promptly stood up and waited for Larkin to finish his paragraph, then respectfully announced, "Hi. I'm Kim-shree Maufas and I'm the President of the San Francisco Board of Education." Right on!
All in all, it was a really inspiring morning with beautiful oratory from people like Rev. J. Edgar Boyd, Rev. Stephen Lui, Rev. James McCray, and Pastor Calvin Jones. I can't wait for tomorrow!!
I'm back from a few days in Half Moon Bay with Beth and the Brians, and was trolling the internets for news when...lo and behold! Look what's on the AP Newswire re: the hero pilot US Airways Capt. Chesley B. "Sully" Sullenberger:
Sullenberger released a statement through a family spokesperson, Alex
Clemens, saying the family was deferring to the advice of the pilots
association. "The Sullenbergers continue to thank their many
well-wishers for the incredible outpouring of support," the statement
said.
What!?!?
And also: YAY!! Fabulous!!
For any of you who do not frequent City Hall, Alex Clemens is the founder and president of Barbary Coast Consulting - a government and communications strategy shop that specializes in the Minotaur Maze that is San Francisco politics. He also created (and now the wonderful team of folks at Barbary Coast maintain) the SFUsusalSuspects website that is an indispensable resource for folks who follow SF politics.
And it's no secret that I count Alex among my closest friends despite the fact that he kicks my ass in Rock Band every single time we play. (You'd think the man would let me win just once.)
Though, apparently, we are not good enough friends for him to warn me about this beforehand.
Undaunted by this glaring omission, I called him immediately and skipped the "hello", opting to squeal: "TELL ME EVERYTHING!!"
Anyone who has crossed paths with Alex knows he's an infuriating fortress of discretion, so he wouldn't tell me much. Only that Mrs. Sullenberger asked one of her friends for advice on dealing with the media and that friend referred her to Alex. It certainly sounds like she could use the help - he says he's been dealing with hundreds of calls a day; he fielded four during our brief conversation.
I can't imagine what it must be like for this nice, normal family to be descended upon by a horde of media folks as if the antidote to our financial crisis is in their house. I suspect they need someone who will listen to their ideas and concerns and be sensitive to the fact that this is all strange, and wonderful and terrifying. And fight like hell to protect their privacy and dignity.
I can't think of anyone better for the job.
And I'm hoping he'll be so busy that he gets a little rusty at Rock Band.
Reading about the recent uproar over the "Barack the Magic Negro" song can be like hanging out with the Flanders family. "Hey-diddely-ho, neighbor! We don't use bad words even when we're talking about bad words!" Many recent articles don't tell us much about the song.
But I'm a child of the 80's! (Late 80's, mind you. Ahem.) You can't just make a "Puff the Magic Dragon" reference and not tell me how the song goes! So, here you go, curious folks.
This all started when, on March 19, 2007, the L.A. Times ran a column, written by David Ehrenstein, in which Ehrenstein compared Barack Obama to the cinematic "Magical Negro" figure. This black person appears "magically" with no past or threatening qualities, and helps the white character(s) with some kind of "magic" in the form of insight, heroism, or actual magic. Think Will Smith in The Legend of Baggar Vance. Or Guy Torrey in American History X.
The song was first aired in March 2007 on the Rush Limbaugh
show. Like a racist joke at a Klan rally, it didn't really get anyone's
attention. Recently, though, Chip Saltsman (in picture) decided that it
would help his chances to be the Chairman of the Republican National
Committee if his Christmas greeting included a CD with "Barack, the Magic Negro" on it.
Note to CR's:
Saltsman's campaign website actually says, "it is apparent to all
that now is the time for new leadership within the Republican National
Committee."
Um, yeah. [Cracking up!] You got that right, Chip.
Okay - so another person running to be the Chairman of the RNC is Ken Blackwell, a black dude. When asked about Chip's distribution of the song, he defended the move, saying, "When looked at in the proper context, these concerns [about racism] are minimal."
I was interested in this notion that the context of the song (Ehrenstein's column) somehow removes its sting. But check out the lyrics:
Barack the Magic Negro lives in D.C.
The L.A. Times, they called him that
'Cause he's not authentic like me.
Yeah, the guy from the L.A. paper
Said he makes guilty whites feel good
They'll vote for him, and not for me
'Cause he's not from the hood.
See, real black men, like Snoop Dog,
Or me, or Farrakhan
Have talked the talk, and walked the walk.
Not come in late and won!
Refrain:
Oh, Barack the Magic Negro, lives in D.C.
The L.A. Times, they called him that
'Cause he's black, but not authentically.
And this is where the defense of this song falls apart. Ehrenstein's column was not about Obama's being a "real" black man (Ehrenstein, also black, specifically dismissed such accusations as "pesky"). It was about Obama's benign persona and desire to help that is allowed to be unquestioned because it fits a familiar narrative.
In other words, it was about being a "real" person.
Which, of course, was lost in the giddy haze of a temporary license to use the word "negro."
The hilarious result of all this is that non-Chip-supporting Republicans are shaking their fists and making a stink so the black candidate, Ken Blackwell, doesn't have to. Now that Blackwell has defended Saltsman and Republicans are under pressure to demonstrate that they are not racists, Blackwell's chances at being elected the next Chairman of the RNC are better than ever.
Such an inexplicably selfless and helpful bit of sorcery kinda makes Chip a Magical Honky.
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